The Black Parade
by Lejionpounce21
Summary: Karkat finds out he has cancer. Based on the Black Parade album by My chemical Romance. WARNING Sadstuck, major character death in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

_**CHAPTER ONE: THE END**_

HOSPITAL ROOM B612. NOW.

This was the message Karkat Vantas, age 17, sent to all his acquaintances at precisely 7 o'clock. His palms sweated as he patiently waited for any replies. The hospital room, in which he was assigned, was mostly white; white bed and bed sheets, white walls, white tiled floors. He was even wearing a white hospital gown, which made his already pale skin look paler and contrasted with his jet black hair. His eyes were naturally a bright shade of red, though most people accuse him of wearing colored contacts, and were underlined with dark skin caused from his insomnia. A necklace, the zodiac sign for Cancer, hung around his neck, glittering in the pale light of the room. He fumbled around with a small porcelain crab his father gave him before he had been murdered, fearing for the near future. On this fateful Saturday, he had to tell his friends, no matter how heart-crushing or how ironic it was: _he had cancer_.

The first to arrive, more like sprinting in, were John Egbert and his sister Jade Harley. They both had raven black hair, Jade's hair reaching the small of her back in waves and John's being flipped to where it looked like he had just being blown by a gust of wind. John was wearing a black shirt with a green ghost on it, blue jeans, a green jacket, and red shoes with flames at the bottom. His squared glasses and his brilliantly sky blue eyes gave him an intellectual look. Jade wore a bright green turtle-neck sweater with dark blue skinny jeans and white shoes. Her rounded glasses sat in front of her appealing green eyes, giving her more of a childish look. Both of them were fair skinned, though Jade was slightly tanner than her older brother. Their arms were filled with multicolored flowers of all sorts, enough to drown the Cancer with. He sat up, his eyes wide with shock.

"Holy crap, guys," He managed to say after they had set all the flowers down onto his lap. "You seriously didn't have to do this." John got a wide, bucktoothed smile slapped on his face as he sat down in one of the hospital chairs in front of the small window that overlooked the town.

"But you said you were in the hospital, so we decided to get you these, just in case!" he laughed. "We thought it might cheer you up! And besides, your birthday is, like, a week away, isn't it?" He rubbed the back of his head, chuckling at Karkat's surprised look. All Karkat could manage to do was nod, not realizing how close he was to being 18.

"So, happy early birthday, I guess!" Jade piped in, flashing an identical bucktoothed smile. Then her smile slowly disappeared at the glimpse of dread in Karkat's face. "What's wrong?"

"I can't tell you yet. Just wait for the others," Karkat mumbled, as a pale woman with short blonde hair, a purple shirt, and a beige skirt walked in, escorted by a nurse. She was wearing a dark purple eye shadow, which illuminated her periwinkle eyes, and black lipstick.

"Rose!" John greeted warmly while getting up to give her a small hug. "It's been a while!"

"John, it's only been a few days, but it is quite the pleasure to see you again," the blonde replied with a smirk. She turned to the Cancer with her smirk gone. "Is everything alright?"

"Well, I'm in the hospital and can't leave. Do you honestly think everything is alright?" His response came out more hostile than he wanted to, and he felt angry at himself deep down for spewing it out like that.

"No need to get upset, Mister Vantas. It was merely a question," Rose said smoothly. Before he could say anything else, his best friend Sollux Captor walked in with his hands in his pockets, wearing a red jacket with blue sleeves and a yellow Gemini symbol on it. His heterochromatic eyes, one bright blue and the other doe brown, were glazed over with sleep as his bangs covered them up slightly. 'He must have just woken up, or something,' Karkat thought to himself. 'Lazy bastard.'

"Thup, KK?" he murmured quietly, his lisp soft. Karkat didn't reply as Sollux flopped down on the chair, not caring if somebody else was planning on sitting there. Finally, Kanaya Maryam entered the room, wearing a simple red blouse and a short black skirt. She wore black lipstick as well and a jade green Virgo necklace hung around her neck. She was just as pale as Karkat, but she was on the taller side. She spoke with a motherly tone.

"Karkat, I hope you are well," she purred, her eyes calm and collective.

"Well, not exactly…" he replied, not helping but feel like a child in her presence. After about an hour of mindless small talk, Karkat finally thought to himself, 'Where is everybody?'

"Ok, KK. We've waited long enough. What the hell ith going on?" Sollux blurted out, obviously impatient.

"Um," he hesitated and took a deep breath. "Before I do, Rose? Can you take your make up off please? It's just going to make things harder." She simply nodded and excused herself, walking to the bathroom and washing off her eye shadow, then returning. "Alright. Guys, I...I have cancer, and the odds of me surviving are... Little to none." All grew silent and the room became still as a graveyard. Sollux bit his lip as he looked down at the floor, his face grave. Kanaya and Rose gave him a look of genuine sorrow as John slowly wrapped his arms around his sister.

"C-Can't they find a cure?" Jade peeped, tears threatening to fall.

"The doctors say that they probably won't be able to find a cure until it's too late…" Pain and fear surged through his body as he tried to remain calm, trying to be strong. "So I would suggest getting your black dresses ready. I'm probably not going to last very long."

"Karkat, you must have hope," Kanaya assured, sitting next to him and holding his hand comfortingly. "You have to believe in that chance of survival."

"Y-yeah!" Jade agreed. "You can't be such a pessimist like you usually are at a time like this!"

"Jade," he began, emotions building up. "This is it. I'm finished. This is my fate."

"No it isn't!" She cried out, immediately being cut off.

"Jade. Imagine looking at yourself in the mirror. Imagine wanting to send your fist through your reflection every time you see it. That's what it's like to be me. Now, if I can ask for a final request, or some shit like that, then I don't want any tears when I pass. I want you to smile. With all I've done, then I wouldn't expect you to cry, anyways," he claimed, his eyes filled with nothing but seriousness.

"But, we all love you, no matter what you've done in the past!" Jade screamed, tears erupting and rolling down her cheeks. "You can't just give up!" Karkat didn't answer as he pulled out a folded piece of paper with large blocky letters written on it from the side table and handed it to Kanaya. "It's my resignation form. Just give it to my boss whenever you have the chance to. Not like he cared much for me in the first place." She nodded and took it, standing up and placing it in the pocket of her skirt. Sollux stood in the corner with his hands in his pockets, his face grave. He desperately wanted to punch his best friend straight across the face for acting like this, but he refrained himself from doing so.

"So, NOW you got front row seats to the penitence ball," Kanaya muttered. Her words were like a dagger driving through the Cancer's heart. It hurt so much to see them like this, and naturally, he thought that it was his fault. He murmured under his breath, the others barely hearing him.

"It doesn't matter anymore. I never wanted to be anything when I grew up anyway."

They sat there for what seemed like an eternity and one by one, the mourners left. First, Kanaya and Rose left, quietly chatting. Next, Sollux strode out, not saying a word. Jade followed soon after, yet John hesitated. He shot the patient a sorrowful look as he turned and exited. Karkat then screamed in his head.

'Get me the hell out of here! I'm too young to die! Just fucking save me!'

END OF CHAPTER 1


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Dead!**

Not even 30 minutes later after visiting his cancer-struck friend, John returned to his apartment. He lived at apartment number 413 in the Prospit sector of the complex. His apartment was kind of small, but it was all he could afford with the money his father had left him when he was killed back six years ago by the deranged mass-murderer Jack Noir. The walls were a beige-color and had white spotless carpet on the floor. His whole apartment had a blue scheme to it; dark blue furniture, dark picture frames with pictures of him, his family, and his closest friends. His favorite sat on the DVD tower to the right of a decent sized television and next to a worn out fedora. It was a picture of his father laughing as he held out a baby blue cake out to a very young John, whose eyes glistened with excitement and joy. He had always enjoyed his father's baking as a child, even though he had a whole "_Betty-Crocker-is-actually-a-ruthless-Batterwitch-out-to-take-over-the-world_" episode when he was 13 and. Just thinking about all the fun times he had with his father brought tears to John's eyes as he flopped onto the couch, kicking off his shoes.  
He flipped on the television and blankly stared at the screen, searching through his recordings to find something decent to watch. An old recording of Con-Air caught his eye, as well as The Room. Both were really crappy movies, but he loved them all the same. He finally decided on Con-Air. You can't go wrong with some Nic Cage. As the beginning scenes began, he pulled out his phone and pondered if he should talk to anybody. Frankly, he wasn't in the mood, but Jade had always told him to talk things out with somebody to relieve stress, and like always, she was right.

_'Karkat maybe?'_ he thought to himself as he scrolled down to his contact. '_Hm. Nah, he didn't seem to be in the mood. But... Eh, might as well._' He then began typing away.

"**hey karkat. :B"** The reply he got came a ton faster than he had expected.

"**HEY EGBERT. I... I JUST WANTED TO APOLOGIZE. I *WAS* BEING A REAL DOUCHE TO YOU GUYS. SORRY ABOUT ALL THAT. I JUST. I KNEW I WAS GOING TO BE DIAGNOSED WITH IT SOONER OR LATER.**" Hearing, or rather reading, Karkat apologize was extremely rare, and John was surprised. Normally, the crab would go on a yelling spree before finally calming down and changing the subject.

"**it's ok karkat! really! you were just stressed and all. I mean, cancer is a huge deal. but.. can be honest with you?**"

"**SURE, WHATEVER**." John began contemplating on if he should even say this, but it seemed necessary.

**"if your heart stops beating, i'll be here wondering. did you get what you deserve? The ending of your life, I mean. And if you get to heaven, i'll be here, still wondering if you got what you deserve. And if your life won't wait, then your heart just couldn't take it**." He didn't answer for a while, and it seriously felt like he had said something extremely stupid, which he probably did anyways. After a few minutes, he finally got a reply. His face grew pale as he read it.

**"EGBERT. SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU SAYING THAT ISN'T GOING TO HELP ME AT ALL. IF ANYTHING, IT'S TELLING ME THAT I DON'T HAVE A CHANCE. IT'S LIKE SOME RANDOM COCKSUCKER RUNNING UP TO YOU AND SAYING. 'HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS YOU'RE DEAD? NOBODY EVER HAD MUCH NICE TO SAY, BUT I DON'T THINK THEY LIKE YOU ANYWAY.' JUST TAKE ME FROM THE HOSPITAL BED.**"

"**karkat, you know if I could, I'd get you out in a heartbeat.**" A lump formed in John's throat, feeling all the raw emotion Karkat was feeling. Pain, fear… It was all too real for him. And knowing that Karkat only had a limited amount of time before it killed him…

"**HEH, YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY? WOULDN'T IT BE GRAND IF IT WASN'T EXACTLY WHAT YOU PLANNED?**" Before John could answer, he received another message from Karkat. Just reading those eight words jabbed his heart like a stainless steel knife. "**WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF WE WERE DEAD?**" John didn't know what to say. He had never seen Karkat like this. It was awful. Normally, Karkat was the headstrong leader who wasn't afraid of anything, and now, seeing him like this, it was terrible. John, on the other hand, was the derp. He was usually tongue-tied, and oh, so squeamish. He never fell in love. Did he get what he deserved? The ending of Karkat's life? He couldn't get himself to reply after that. He set his phone down next to him and looked over at the hat, slowly getting up to his feet and gently taking it up. He held it as if it were some ancient artifact and stared down at it, tears threatening to fall. _'What would you do, Dad?'_

Back at the hospital, Karkat stared at the white wall, his heart sinking. He felt like shit right now. John probably hated him right now. He had completely screwed things up and just lost it. He just felt so helpless. He didn't know what to do. In the middle of his self-loathing, there was a soft knock at his door and a tall, well-built man entered with a clip board. He wore green dress attire, a white lab coat, and white nursing shoes. His head was shaved and he wore white square-rimmed glasses.

"Doctor Scratch," Karkat muttered, still kind of wrapped up in his own thoughts. The doctor talked with a smooth professional voice, about like a host at a fancy dinner party.

"Good evening, Mister Vantas. How are you feeling?" A small smile hinted at his face. And it really ticked Karkat off.

"Do you want the truth? I feel like a miserable pile of shit. Thanks for asking." Karkat's words came out soft, but were like venom. He hated this guy. He seemed to look down on the Cancer. He was condescension with glasses.

"Oh, dear. Well, then I guess I might as well tell you straight-up. There's no easy way to say this, but we just got the results from your last tests. They say you only have about two weeks to live. I'm so sorry." His face was indifferent as he spoke, as if it didn't matter to him if Karkat lived or died, as long as he was getting paid. Suddenly, something inside of Karkat snapped.

"IS THAT THE MOST YOU CAN GIVE?! YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD!" Karkat lunged forward, his crimson eyes ablaze with hate and rage as the veins in his neck popped out and created fine lines and dark shadows. Doctor Scratch lurched back, stunned by Karkat's sudden outburst, yet didn't say a word as a few nurses rushed into the room to get everything calmed down and situated. Two nurses grabbed onto his arms, which were currently trying to pull the IVs out of his arms, and held them tightly. "I BET YOU WOULDN'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS IF I DIED RIGHT NOW! JUST AS LONG AS YOU'RE GEETING PAYED! YOU DON'T REALLY-" Just then, the man injected a dose of sedative into the boy's system, immediately taking a toll on the patient. Karkat's eyes felt heavy as the sedatives began their effect, but he stayed awake. He was in a haze. After a few moments of silence, the Cancer sank back into his pillow and slowly began to chuckle, eventually erupting into a fit of laughter, as the nurses released his arms and stepped away from the hospital bed.

"Mister Vantas?" the male doctor asked quietly. Karkat looked over at him, and laughed, as if he were drunk.

"If life ain't just a joke, then why are we laughing?" He laughed a bit more before repeating it three more times. Finally, he drifted off into a deep slumber, the medicine finally having full effect. Before he finally slipped away into his dreams, one thought echoed in his mind.

_'If life ain't just a joke, then why am I dead?'_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: This is How I Disappear**

Karkat slowly regained consciousness, his senses dulled a little and his brain fuzzy. The bed he was in was comfier than he remembered. It didn't feel like the hard mattress at the hospital. He looked at the room around him and his jaw dropped. He sat in a darkened room with grey walls which hardly showed due to the massive amount of Romcom movie posters that were hung. There was a black computer desk with a silver laptop resting on top of it as well as a stack of notebook paper and a cup of pencils. The room was relatively neat, despite the handful of shirts that were scattered on the floor. The air smelled like apple cinnamon, and it relaxed the boy almost instantly. He wasn't in the hospital anymore. He was in his own room. This didn't make any sense… How long was he asleep?

_'I must have been released while I was out or something,_" he thought to himself as he pulled the comforter up to his chin, warmth enveloping his body. He sighed in content as he laid there for a few minutes, taking in the aroma and the change of scenery. Eventually, he slung his legs over the side of the bed and climbed to his feet. He looked down to see that he was wearing a loose black turtleneck sweater and grey jeans, along with a solid black belt. He exited the room and slowly walked down the stairs. The room was deathly silent and the smell of the air changed dramatically. It was a metallic smell… The smell of blood. When he reached the living room he let out a scream, an unholy sight lying before him.

His father, Kankri Vantas lied face down in rust-colored blood, his hand outstretched in front of him as if he were trying to reach something. He wore a bright red turtle neck sweater, much like Karkat's, and black dress slacks. Karkat squeezed his eyes shut, hoping it would disappear when he opened them back up. It didn't. . He flipped the body over, nearly fainting. His father had been shot in the stomach twice and his eyes were open with shock. He didn't appear to have any other injuries besides that, all the blood seeping out from those tiny holes.

"Oh god… Oh god, oh god, oh god!" Karkat dropped to his knees and shook like an abandoned puppy as tears raced down his cheeks. He wept for what seemed like an eternity until he took off out the door and into the street. It was dark outside and the only light source was the dim streetlights on the side of the road, providing him a sense of direction. The air was chilly and burned his throat as he gasped for air, sprinting as hard as he could from the scene. He continued running down the abandoned road until his legs finally gave out from under him. The horror-struck boy fell to the ground with a thud and proceeded to mourn over his father's death. He rolled onto his back and covered his eyes with his arm, the other laying on the cement.

He heard soft footsteps behind him a few minutes later, but he really couldn't care less right now. He had cried most of it out and somehow managed to regain his breath. Then, a male voice called out to him from the sidewalk. "Hey, man. You okay? You shouldn't lay there in the middle of the road like buzz kill." It had a slight southern drawl and had almost a monotonous tone to it. "Come on, man. Get outta the street." Karkat looked over to see a tall man, roughly about his height and age with a black and red letterman jacket on with the name 'Strider' on the back over a white t-shirt with a broken record on it. He wore black skinny jeans and red converse with a red cog on the area above his toes. His skin was white and his cheeks and nose were spotted with light colored freckles. His hair was bright blonde and a pair of black aviators sat in front of his eyes. This guy had douchebag written all over him. It was local cool-kid Dave Strider. Karkat recognized his appearance and stood up, his legs threatening to fall from under him once again. He walked over onto the sidewalk and passed him, smelling the man's cologne as he did so. Before he took more than three steps, Dave pulled on Karkat's shoulder and turned him around.

"Hey, kid. You gonna tell me why you were out there like that?"

"That's none of your fucking business," Karkat hissed, not wanting to talk about the recent events.

"You at least gonna tell me your name?"

"Dave. Come on. Don't pull this 'Who-the-hell-are-you?' routine. I'm not in the mood to deal with this right now." Dave kept his signature poker face and crossed his arms.

"What the hell are you talking about? I've never seen you before in my life."

"Come on, Strider. We have four classes together," Karkat replied, annoyance playing at his voice. This must be some of his 'irony' bullcrap he pulls all the time or he was just purposefully trying to agitate him.

"Yeah, riiiight. I'll make a note of that." Sarcasm hinted at his words as he cocked his eyebrow a little, truly not knowing who he was talking to.

"It's Karkat, you jackass."

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"Ugh, I don't have time for this shit," Karkat sighed as he turned, shoving his hands in his pockets and desperately trying to keep it together.

"Whatever," Dave shrugged and left, walking as if nothing happened. Karkat continued walking as he reached the Dream Session Apartment complex. Maybe Kanaya could help him. He traveled to the Derse sector and searched for 824. He softly knocked on the door when he found it, but there was no answer. He then tried going to Rose's, apartment number 124, but yet again, no answer. The same outcome happened at Sollux's and even Gamzee's. He sighed and bit his lip, going to the Prospit sector. He found 413 and beat on the door. "John! I need to talk to you!" Just as before, no answer. "God damn it John! Answer the fucking door!" After a few moments he gave up and kicked the door in frustration. He sat down, leaning back against the door and stared up at the roof. He thought about why nobody was home and the fact that Dave didn't recognize him. But the one thought that kept coming back was the image of his father's body. His body face-down in blood. Just thinking about the horrid smell of it made his stomach turn and he felt his eyes watering up. He just lost the most important thing in the world; his only true family. He began to talk up to the heavens, praying that his father could hear him.

"Without you is how I disappear and live my life alone forever, now. Can you hear me cry out to you the words I thought I'd choke on?"

"Of course I can. Just figure out that I'm not with you anymore," a deep gentle voice said above. He knew it was his father, just by the kindness of the voice. "I'm just a ghost."

"Dad, I'm glad you're in a better place, because now, I can't hurt you anymore." He sighed and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he saw his father kneeling before him, his face smiling. He was tan, unlike his son, and had black hair that was swept to the side. He had big doe brown eyes that twinkled even in the darkest of nights. He was wearing the outfit that he died in, but there was no blood or any sign that he was killed. Karkat sat up straight, shocked by the sight and wrapped his arms around his neck, feeling like a young child in the embrace. "I'm going to miss you Dad. We're going to be so far away."

"I know, son," the older replied. "But don't fret. We'll be together again, soon." Just then, he heard the clicking of a gun from in front of him. "Very soon." Before he could respond, two gunshots rang out in his ear. He looked down to see his stomach oozing blood and the shining pistol in Kankri's hand. Everything quickly went fuzzy and faded to black once again.

Karkat woke up with a jump, his eyes wide in fear, panic, and confusion. He frantically patted his stomach, feeling for the bullet holes, but couldn't find anything. Upon realizing that, he stopped to observe his surroundings. He wasn't sitting in front of John's door anymore. He was back in the hospital bed; he had been out for quite some time. The IVs snaked out from his arms and the raced beeping of the heart monitor was the only sound in the room. He was drenched in sweat and his breathing was heavy, his heart feeling as if it would bust right out of his chest. His mouth was extremely dry and his throat begged for something to drink but he couldn't get himself to move an inch.  
'Jesus Christ. All of it was just a nightmare.' Karkat ran a shaking hand through his soaked black hair and took a few deep breaths. He looked at the analogue clock on the wall. 8:24 am. It wasn't long before Doctor Scratch came back in, just as before.

"I see you're awake, Mister Vantas." Karkat gripped the bed sheets tightly and bit his lip, trying to control himself.

"Go the fuck away." He hissed at the doctor at the doorway, angry at the fact he even had the balls to appear before him after the whole episode yesterday and drugged him.

"I can't do that. We need some blood samples for another test. A few of them were mislabeled." He pulled a needle and a container from his pocket while grabbing the younger man's arm, aiming it towards the vein in his elbow. Before he reached his destination, Karkat yanked his arm back and pushed the older away.

"No! You wanna see how far down I can sink? Is that it?! You want to see how long it takes before I mentally and physically break?!"

"Now, we both know we just want to find the cure. We have no intentions on inflicting any psychological damage. Hospitals are meant to help patients like you, not hurt. So, if you don't mind-"

"I do mind! Don't fucking touch me."

"Calm yourself," Doctor Scratch replied, taking a step back and giving the raging boy some space. "You are acting like an infant. We are trying are hardest to find a cure for your cancer, but you are only making things harder on us." With that, he left the room, thinking the teen would reflect on what he said. Karkat held up both his middle fingers as Doctor Scratch turned and walked away.

_'I fucking hate hospitals._' He thought to himself as he continued his deep breathing.  
When he was completely calmed down, he picked up the porcelain crab from the end table. 'But I know you're always here with me to help me get through shit like that. Though, it would be nice if you could kick Scratch's ass for me though.' He smiled and held the crab tightly against his chest, feeling his father's embrace around him.

**A/N: Oh my goodness guys. I'm so sorry about not updating in a long time! I got really really busy with school and such, but I should be able to start writing more soon. These last two chapters aren't as good, but I *did* write them at 3 in the morning. Hahaha. ^^;; Love you guys~ AND AS ALWAYS, reviews will be GREATLY appreciated. **


End file.
